Perhaps surprisingly, today was a difficult day! I know everyone likes to see happy smiley pictures and posts about how much I’m enjoying the walk but when I started on this journey I made the decision to share “warts and all” (maybe saving you the blister photos though… ? ).
Today has been tough. Rest days always are, which might seem surprising! When I’m walking, I just need to walk. I’m getting pretty good at that now! Rest days are a bit misnamed though…yes I’m physically resting (mostly) but mentally and emotionally they are often the toughest. I use them to sort through my kit, dry and air stuff out, assess what I need to replenish and find supplies to get me through to the next potential supply stop, balancing necessity, comfort and adequate nutrition with weight to carry and convenience of having to divert or stop for supplies. I catch up on blogs, stretch, give myself some sometimes painful self-massages, cut my toenails, plan the route and accommodation for the next week or so and repack my restocked bag. Every time I find working through those logistics quite stressful! On top of my body crashing just a bit every time it stops for more than 12 hours and seeing friends with their loved ones when I’m heading out on my own. Altogether, the day rarely feels all that restful!
Today felt more tough than usual though. The elation of reaching Glasgow had to have its comedown and the sensory overload of being back in a city surrounded by people leading ‘normal’ lives, meeting up with friends, having to decide what to wear, feeling strange in jeans and sandals and the excitement and energy of the conference build up, all has taken its toll and I feel physically sick. My body is aching perhaps the most it has the entire trip, my tummy is cramping and I literally just want to curl up in a ball under the duvet and hibernate! I’m struggling to regulate my body temperature – I think due to the combination of feeling incredibly tired and having come from four weeks being pretty much outdoors day and night (no rapid changes in temperature to contend with) – and I’m feeling an emotional mix of overwhelm at the thought of having another 300+ miles to walk and overwhelm at the thought of NOT walking…!
I guess today, and the next couple of days, will give me a taste of what getting back to reality in a month’s time will be like. Thankfully I do know that I will get through it, and I just have to listen to and embrace how I’m feeling and let my body have what it needs. But right now it feels a bit rubbish! So, happy face will definitely be back – it is still there, it’s just buried under the duvet with King Jennifer for now!
And to ease worriers’ minds, I AM ok. Yes I could do with a few hugs, and I know I’ll get those. But something I’ve learned about resilience – being resilient doesn’t mean being happy all the time, it means being able to ride the lows knowing that the next wave will come. And so I will sit and wait patiently for that next wave and maybe take a couple of paracetamol…!
Thank you so much for all your amazing messages of support and your donations. I read every message and even if I don’t manage to reply to them all they really help cheer me along, so please keep them coming! Xx
