Category: General musings

I’ve been feeling – and behaving – like a trapped animal lately. What with working from home, being unwell for a while, the snow, social cancellations and so forth, I haven’t been getting out of the house as much as I would like. Are these just excuses? Maybe, but they feel real. They’ve definitely kept me stuck. I don’t do well with that trapped feeling, I never have, and since having 3&1/2 months of freedom on the trails, I feel it even more.

But the crazy truth is, and this is something I’ve learned over the past couple of years (yet still have trouble reminding myself of), I’m not actually trapped. I never have been and never will be. Yes, there are sometimes challenges and obstacles in the way, but I am a free person. We are all free people. We have free will, enjoy incredible freedom (compared to many countries in this world), and live a life of relative luxury where, for the most part, we can prioritise where we spend our money. Yet I know I’m not alone in feeling from time to time like I am stuck, trapped, not in control. So where does this feeling of being trapped come from?

I heard a story a while ago (which I think is a true one but I’ll caveat this by admitting I haven’t actually checked because it’s a good analogy) of how elephants are trained to not stray from where they are tethered. When they are young, a chain is placed around their leg with the other end being tied to a big stake, limiting their movement to a circle dictated by the length of the chain. At first, the baby elephants pull against it, try to break free, but the chain is stronger than them. Eventually, they learn that when the chain is around their leg, they cannot move far, and stop trying. When the elephant grows big and strong – far stronger than the chain and stake – it still believes that the chain will prevent it venturing beyond its length. So it doesn’t even try! It stays there, trapped by the belief in the strength of that chain, not knowing its own power.

I believe that similar beliefs keep us feeling trapped. The chains in our case are rarely physical. Often, they relate to fear. It might be fear of lack of money, fear of hurting someone, or fear of the unknown. Sometimes it can even be fear of success! It’s often not until we make a move that we realise that the chain was not as strong as we thought, or, perhaps more to the point, that we are stronger than we thought. Think of time you finally plucked up the courage to do something you’d been putting off. It might have been something really small, like picking up the phone to make a call (for me, even calling to make a hairdresser’s appointment is terrifying!). But once it was done, how did it feel? Most likely, it was a little bit of exhilaration from having conquered that tiny fear (even if it’s just for now…) and relief at having done it. For me at the moment, a biggie is getting outdoors for a proper walk in nature. I’m not going to lie, that was quite a shock to me! I kind of thought that after my big walk I’d be practically living outdoors, but for one reason or other, it has been hard to get out. I make excuses; it’s too hard, too cold, too far, too much time. Yet when I do get outside, when I make myself do it, I love it. Absolutely love it. I feel alive. And utterly un-trapped! And I think, why on earth didn’t I do this sooner? I know how happy it makes me! Right now I am sat on a log by a stream in a beautiful wood, where the snow is still lying around. A curious robin has come to say hello and is flitting around near me, his orange breast a warm dash of colour amongst the greys and browns of winter. It’s freezing! But I’m wrapped up warm and I have a thermos of tea, and I feel more at peace than I have all week. And yes, I’ll have to go home soon, but a little bit of that peace will stay with me, and I’ll take it into the rest of my day and my weekend. When I’m feeling trapped, when something triggers me, I’ll close my eyes and think of this spot. Hear the tumbling water, smell the mingling of damp leaves and cold air, feel the bite of the frost on my fingers and remember the serenity in my heart. And I’ll know I’m not trapped. I’m as free as I choose to be.

And so, my challenge to you. What could you do now, that would give you a little bit of peace, a little bit of freedom. Even if it is just a few moments. It could be stepping outside, looking up at the sky, closing your eyes and taking a few deep lungfulls of fresh air. A quick shower with some luxurious body wash. A long soak in the bath. A cup of tea in the garden wrapped up in a blanket. Lighting a candle and gazing at it for a few minutes. I promise you it will make a difference. Take a bit of time to stop, breathe, and just be. You deserve it.

EXCITING NEWS!!

Hello! I have some news I’m excited to share with you! If you have been following my blog over the last few months you’ll know what a massive, incredible journey I’ve been on recently. I have to admit I still haven’t quite got my head around what I just did but, at the risk of sounding cliché, it was life changing.

But here’s the thing. The walk was epic. No doubt about it. But what has been really incredible is the entire journey. And this is far more than just the physical 1,400 miles I just walked. It’s about everything that happened to bring me to the point of being able to even contemplate doing something like that, and everything that is still to come.

So many of you will know that I left my very respectable job in financial services not only to do this crazy walk but also because I felt a pull to do something more. And whilst I was doing the walk I realised more and more what that “more” was. I wanted to share some of my journey with you, to share some of the learnings, the experiences, the joy! So many of you commented on how on my walk I always seemed to be happy and smiling. That didn’t happen by chance! I want you to feel what I felt and I want you to feel inspired to explore your own journey (which doesn’t necessarily mean walking the entire length of the country…!).

But do you know what? There are plenty of little gremlins in my head (you get them too, right?) saying “who on earth are you, to think you can inspire and help people?” or “woah that’s too big and scary, just go back to normal life where it’s safe and comfortable”. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there are ALWAYS going to be those little gremlins and it’s those little gremlins that keep us playing small. And I refuse to play small any more! And I want to help other people stop playing small too. I want you to believe, like I believe, that you are way stronger and more capable than you think. It’s true, I promise you! But even more than that, I want you to:

• Rediscover and reconnect with that inner spark that you know is there but that gets buried in life’s “stuff”
• Find the courage to rekindle that spark
• Rediscover joy in your life, and to feel more alive

Now this stuff doesn’t just happen. In the midst of life’s chaos we rarely find the time or space or guidance to think about these things. Those things that, really, are so fundamental to us leading happy, fulfilling, alive lives. In order to change something we need to give ourselves the permission to take time out and create space so we can step back and take stock. And it doesn’t need to take a three and a half month trek to do that! It could be a day. It could be an hour. Even five minutes could make a difference. But can you remember the last time you actually took that time? How often do you let yourself just breathe and be? Can you remember the last time you laughed as you walked through crunchy autumn leaves, or toasted marshmallows on a campfire, or went jumping in puddles?

So where am I going with all this? Well, I am super excited to share with you that I have been creating a very special day for you in conjunction with my amazing coach Carrie. For those of you who don’t know Carrie, I have been working with her for the last couple of years and she has played a huge part in helping me move from where I was to where I am today. So I am thrilled that we are now working together, to offer you a delicious day away from the chaos of modern life. We’ll slow down to Nature’s pace for the day. We’ll walk, we’ll talk, we’ll listen, we’ll reflect. We’ll find some puddles to jump in and some leaves to crunch. We’ll even toast marshmallows on a campfire! But whatever else we do, the aim is for you to come away feeling rested, reconnected and re-energised.

Throughout the day you’ll have the support and guidance not only from me and Carrie but also the other amazing people who’ll share this experience with you. People who all want a little more from life. People who aren’t willing to sit in the shadows and say “one day” any more. People like you.

I am so passionate that you experience some of this. I am really excited by it and I can’t wait to share it with you!

So, what next? If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, whether that’s an “oh my goodness I HAVE to be there”, or just a little nudge that says “oh, that might be interesting”, get in touch. Drop me a message using the contact form on this page or send me a quick email at jlemarinel.lejog@gmail.com. Do it right now! Don’t go away and think about it because you’ll go away and forget (I know, I do it too!). You don’t need to commit at this stage, it’s purely to get some info.

I love you all, you’re amazing! Go and have a brilliant weekend and I look forward to seeing some of you soon 🙂

Xx

And so, I’m home. Back where it all started, where I first had the crazy idea to walk from Land’s End to John O’Groats on my own with everything I needed on my back. Back then it seemed like some bonkers pipe dream, a “wouldn’t-it-be-amazing-but-it-will-never-really-happen” type dream. But some invisible breeze fanned those embers, that little spark of a dream, into something bigger. Once upon a time I would have dismissed the idea as impossible, impractical, selfish, irresponsible, foolhardy, but something this time made me stand up and say “I can do this. I WILL do this!”

Writing it like that all sounds very grand and considered but in fact it was ridiculously simple when it came down to it. I knew I wanted to do something. I looked into several options but nothing seemed right. Then suddenly, there it was, Land’s End to John O’Groats. The entire length of Great Britain on foot. Just me. It clicked. Nothing else would do. It was so right that although I checked in briefly with a couple of my closest friends to check I hadn’t gone (completely) crazy, the decision was made. I immediately told everyone that was what I was doing, partly so I couldn’t back out (once the inevitable self-doubt and guilt factor kicked in) but also because I was so EXCITED by it. Yes it was big, yes it was sometimes stressful, but it was RIGHT. I only had to talk about my plans with someone to know I was doing exactly the right thing, I was in alignment, in flow, being true to myself, whatever you would call it.

Looking back now, I almost can’t remember some of the hard bits. The times I was getting stressed trying to plan supply drops, working out what I’d need at each stage, where I’d be sleeping, how on earth I’d promote my fundraising. They all seem like they were in another life, softened by the haze of time and joy. Even the harder days of the actual walk itself seem gentler around the edges, either being melted away by the laughter brought by the stories they created or imparting a huge sense of pride and strength from having survived them. I’m so grateful for my blog (and to you, my readers, for giving me the cause and the discipline to write it!) which I can dip back into and remember how I felt on a particular day, how at times it was tough and it times it was pure joy. Thankfully far more of the latter than the former. It is also quite reassuring to read when I need to convince myself it really did happen!

It is strange to be home. I thought, and was worried, that it might feel like I had never been away. But while some things don’t change, I have. It’s early days yet, and I’m contending with a massive energy slump (I have to keep reminding myself that having walked 1,400 miles carrying a pack weighing up to half my body weight, it is not unreasonable to feel a little tired for a while!), but I know that life is not going to be the same. It’s taking a little adjustment – it’s not easy to go from walking daily for hours on end in relative solitude, immersed in nature, through stunning countryside, to being back in one place (a noisy, crowded town at that), surrounded by people, sounds and smells that all make their overwhelming assault on my senses.

The first thing that struck me when I walked home from the train station was the air quality – or rather the lack of it. The air here is thick with fumes and cigarette smoke that I never really noticed before. Now it makes me want to cough with every inhalation and I’m scared to breathe too deeply. I miss the clean air of the hills! Thankfully I’m blessed that at home we have a garden that in turn backs onto a park. I love the garden. The first thing I did when I got home, rather than do some much-needed sorting out of my kit in the house, was to come straight outside and tidy the garden instead! I spent a couple of hours in the lovely afternoon sun tidying the autumn leaves and clearing the weeds that had taken over in my absence. At home it is the place I am happiest. Alas at first even in the garden the surrounding noises were overwhelming. I could sit outside and gaze at the trees, but I tried to block out the sounds of cars growling and motorbikes backfiring, the neighbour’s loud music or screaming children. Even the sound of children happily playing in the park felt like an added sensory challenge. But at least there were leaves, and birds, and plants and sky.

I had high hopes of taking myself off to the hills for a walk (or even just a sit) regularly once I got home. That hasn’t quite happened yet, as in addition to the one rather crucial issue of not having a car at the moment, I have felt too tired, which has been frustrating. My body just doesn’t want to do it! I feel exhausted, more so than I felt the entire time I was walking. My knees have finally decided to express their displeasure at the strain I put them through (I’m very glad they at least waited until now), my entire body is stiff and aching and I have had a near-permanent headache. I arrived home on a wave of excitement and energy, ready to get straight into doing everything, but now my body is saying no. It needs to properly rest. But I’m getting used to the idea now that I do just need to rest for a bit. The hills will be there when my body is ready again. And despite feeling pretty yucky part of me is glad. Because by being forced to stop, to rest, I am also being given time to process what I have achieved. Emotionally too, I need to be gentle with myself, and let the enormity of what I have done sink in.

Aches and pains and overwhelm aside, there are many wonderful things about being back at home. Like my housemate bringing me a cup of tea in the morning, cuddles with the cats and curling up on the sofa with a blanket knowing I don’t need to plan tomorrow’s walk. My iPad! My fluffy slippers and dressing gown and my Arbonne genius pads. Long soaks in a candlelit bath. My favourite pair of turquoise hareem trousers. My notebooks. A fridge full of food! There have also been moments in the first couple of days that made me smile wryly as they highlighted the difference between the life I’ve been living for the last few months and “normal” life. Like waking up on the first day of being back and having to decide what clothes to wear! Since July the only decision in that respect has been “which t-shirt is the cleanest?!” or perhaps “is it cold enough for my long-sleeve today?” And then, breakfast – so much choice! It’s crazy how difficult it can be to make a decision when faced with so many options, even for something as simple as what to eat. Part of me was tempted to avoid the decision and dig out my last dehydrated porridge sachet from my bag…(which, incidentally, I still haven’t fully unpacked!). I’m trying to wean myself (more or less) off sugar now I’m back, as I practically lived on it while I was walking. In fact, I’m more generally trying to wean myself off stuffing my face at every opportunity! It is strange to go from needing to eat anything and everything I could get my hands on to having more choice, more control (and more restraint!). I was SO excited to go to the supermarket and buy lots of healthy, wholesome food to cook. For a week and a half I was ravenously hungry the whole time. I wasn’t sure whether it was real hunger, habit or greed, but thankfully my appetite seems to have abated a little now. I’m quite surprised that I’ve actually found it easier than I expected to cut down on the sugary, calorific treats I had become accustomed to. I guess my body knows now that it doesn’t need it, and is instead craving nutritious and nourishing food. It’s clever how our bodies know what they need. Sometimes we just need to listen to them a little more closely…!

So where do I go from here? Well, I’m pleased to say there are exciting times ahead! I’ll share more detail about what that involves soon, but let’s just say that I’m working on ways of sharing the experience of my journey with as many other people as possible. And I mean the whole journey, not just the physical 1,400 miles of the last few months. This whole journey I’ve been on over the last few years. And I am SUPER excited! Watch this space for more news on that front soon.

As always, much love xx

Oh my goodness, I’m off! Well, on the train down to Penzance at least, so it definitely feels like the adventure has truly begun. My bag is packed, my route is, well, not as finalised as I’d like but pretty much there, I’ve dealt with everything I needed to sort before I left and now all I have to do is walk!

I can’t believe the time has finally come. It feels like I have spent so long planning and dreaming about this trip that it feels quite surreal that it’s actually happening. I’ve had a few oh-my-god-what-am-I-doing moments over the last week but not once have I felt like it’s a bad idea, so I guess that’s a good sign?! It was all hands on deck to get everything done in time, but thankfully Eunice made me pack my bag yesterday morning which meant I wasn’t faffing with it all afternoon – if you don’t know what I’m like I’m usually to be found frantically packing at midnight the night before I leave, so this was a real first!

I’m currently on the train and the countryside is so beautiful. I was born in Somerset so I have a real soft spot for the South West and it feels really nice to be travelling through! We went through Taunton, and Tiverton earlier, where I’ll be in 2 weeks’ time. It’s quite amusing to be travelling backwards through my journey, although, 3 hours by train, two weeks to walk it….I really am bonkers aren’t I?! It took about 5-10 minutes to get from Taunton to Tiverton – that’s a day’s walk for me! In fact, it’s potentially my longest day of the whole trip at 24 miles!

We then reached the south coast just past Exeter, and the excitement really hit! The sea!! Oh my goodness, so beautiful! It helps that it is a beautiful day today and the sea is sparkling, but I forgot that the train runs right along the shoreline, and it reminded me how much I love the sea. My route takes me along the coast path for the first few days, first from Land’s End to Penzance, then up to St. Ives and following up for a couple of days so I’m so excited!

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We’ve now headed back inland a little and I got a great view of Dartmoor. I will be skirting around the northern edge of Dartmoor, and I’m praying for good weather as Dartmoor in the sun is stunning. Dartmoor in the rain…not so much! I’m also doing a stint of camping at that point, so please all pray for dry days!!

So, tomorrow it begins properly. I’ll be posting some photos and videos on my Facebook page of the set off from Land’s End so if you haven’t found that yet it’s @jlemarinel.lejog

Of course I’ll be updating this blog too. The aim is to post a daily update of my progress and (hopefully) a Strava map of my route (find me on Strava and give me kudos please!), and then do a more general blog post once a week. For those of you who have subscribed to blog updates, there won’t be notifications of the daily blogs (I don’t want to inundate your inboxes) so do check back here if you want to see how I’m doing. I will continue to send out the notifications for the weekly blog posts though, so please do keep reading them and dropping me messages of support!

And I think that’s all to be said for now….let’s get this thing started! Thank you so much for your support in getting me to this point, and keep cheering me on from afar!

With love

Jen xx

Warning – deeper than usual!

I’ve thought a little while before posting this particular update as it is a little deeper and more personal than the majority of updates will be. I’m quickly realising however that there is more to this walk, and this blog, than just a blow-by-blow update of day to day geographical progress. This adventure is rapidly becoming more than just a walk for me and it felt worthwhile to share my journey ‘warts and all’…

With just under three weeks to go now, a lot of planning is falling into place (albeit with lots still to do) and the prospect of what I’ve taken on is becoming rather more real by the day. I’ve always known that this walk was going to be tough physically – that’s one of the reasons I’m doing it! I also knew that it would be tough mentally at times, but I have to admit I wasn’t quite expecting some of that toughness to arrive before I’d even started walking!

This walk is big. In every way. The distance, the duration, the terrain, the British weather, the inevitable weight of my backpack. All that – I’m on it. But the amount of planning involved, the logistics and – the inspiration for this particular post – the amount of help I need, is also huge, and at times threatens to turn into a big scary monster!

I’m walking this route solo (with the exception of a few nearly-as-mad and/or incredibly supportive friends who are joining me for a few sections), as that is something I specifically wanted to do. So it will probably sound silly but it has struck me, particularly in the last couple of days, that I am going to be on my own a lot during this walk. Of course I always knew that, but it has really started to sink in and it has hit me surprisingly hard! More often than not there won’t be someone there beside me to give me a hug, to cheer me on when I want to give up or to help me get out of sticky situations (don’t worry mum, only safe sticky situations!). There’ll be numerous times when I’m going to have to dig deep and find that strength in myself – little old me and my ridiculously tiny shoulders! And I have to admit, that scares me a little! Blisters, aches and pains, tiredness, wind, rain – I’m not afraid of them (not exactly looking forward to them(!), but I don’t fear them). But feeling lonely when things get tough, that will be the really hard bit.

I’ve been reflecting on that with Carrie, my wonderful counsellor, coach and sounding board, and am working on viewing it through a different lens. It’s helping me face and appreciate something which I always ‘knew’ but I guess didn’t really fully understand, feel or embrace. In life, ultimately we are on our own. Nobody else can change the way we think, feel or experience our lives. Nobody else can live our life, nobody else can ‘save’ us, nobody else can make us happy. (For avoidance of doubt, I’m not saying that we can’t find happiness with other people, or that other people can’t help us at all, just that we can’t place reliance for our happiness and survival solely on another person). And here I am about to throw myself right into the deep end on that front, and do you know what? It’s pretty damn scary! But…there’s a massive learn there. It will teach me one of the biggest skills and qualities I think we all need in life – resilience. I’ve always thought of myself as being quite resilient. Yes I crash from time to time, sometimes more spectacularly than others, but I always bounce back, usually with the help of other people. But this journey is really going to test, and I hope strengthen, that resilience on a whole new level.

This may all sound a bit depressing and scary, but there’s a cheerier lesson here too. Yes, I’m going to be out there on my own, but I’m not alone. I have an amazing network of incredible people supporting me, in so many different ways. Right from you reading this blog, to every person who sponsors me or sends me messages of support, to my amazing dearest friends (too many to list here!), to Aurelie, Liz and Eunice for helping me move house in the middle of all this, to Carrie, the angel I already mentioned, to Ken for lending me his spare car because mine got written off, to Pippa, my magical osteopath who’s helping me get my muscles and joints in shape for the physical toll ahead, to my kinesiologist Amanda for her uncanny awareness and spiritual guidance, to my dear friend and housemate Eunice for her serenity, advice and for heading up operation fatten-up-Jen, to mum who always believes in me and gave me wings, and dad for his enthusiasm, knowledge and support, to my ex-colleagues who have kept in touch and wish me well, to my beautiful Arbonne clients who support my business and who trusted me to help them, to my amazing sidelines who support me in so many ways not only in my business but in life in general, to the amazing people I barely know who are helping me find accommodation along my route and to the wonderful people who I don’t know at all yet have offered me a place to stay. I’m sure I must have forgotten some people, but the point is, I’m never alone. The challenge I face is that I’m not always very good at asking for help! But I’m learning. And I need to keep learning very quickly, because the ability and willingness to ask for help when I need it could be the difference between me finishing this walk and not.

So where am I going with all this, other than a big THANK YOU to everybody who has helped or is helping, in any way? I guess it’s this: You have to live your life, find your happy, find your peace. Nobody can do it for you, however, people can do it with you. You may need to ask – we are all so wrapped up in our own busy lives we sadly often don’t realise when someone close to us needs help – but there will be someone there. It might not always be the person you expected or hoped for, but there’ll be someone. A wise mentor once said to me “the best thing you can do for a friend is to lean on them” and I often reflect on that. I’d like to think my friends would lean on me if they needed to.

Of course there is the equal and opposite part to this equation. I challenge you, look up every once in a while and check whether anybody around you needs help. Sometimes we are scared to try to help because we fear that we cannot do very much. But help doesn’t always need to be a big gesture. It could be as simple as a smile, a hello, a silly photo, but it could make the difference. John O’Leary (if you haven’t read his book “On Fire” – I highly recommend you do!) often refers to the question “What more can I do?”. Well, we can all do a little more, and a lot of ‘a little mores’ can, and will, make a massive difference.

I hope that this post has resonated with you in some way. If it has, I ask you do something with it. Whether that’s to offer help to someone, or to ask for help for yourself, or even just to share this post itself, it would mean a lot, to me, to them, to you.

Thank you for reading. Go shine your light!

Much love,

Jen xx

Ps next blog will be a little more light-hearted and walk-related, promise! 😉